Copyright © Remigiusz Kalwarski, 2022

Cover design: Magdalena Zawadzka

Illustrations on the cover: © Darkmoon_Art/Pixabay, ElisaRiva/Pixabay, Gerd Altmann/Pixabay

Text revision: Anna Kielan

Text correction: ERATO

ISBN 978-83-67539-17-3

PUBLISHING COMPANY

512 087 075

e-mail: redakcja@bookedit.pl

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

INTRODUCTION

1. THREE ELEMENTS: THE “CUD” OF MAN – THE ISSUE OF NOT BEING FULLY DEFINED

2. WHERE FROM – WHERE TO? IDENTIFICATION/STRATEGY

3. THE ANALYSIS OF YOUR GOALS

4. SPECIFYING THE STEPS – THE GROW TACTICS

5. TAKING STOCK OF THE RESOURCES – THE SWOT ANALYSIS

6. QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS – CARTESIAN QUESTIONS

7. TIME IS A TOOL

8. THE SIEVES OF SOCRATES – TIME FOR IMPORTANT MATTERS ONLY

9. THE CONSEQUENCES OF CONSISTENCY

10. EFFECTIVENESS IN ACTION – INTERNAL INTEGRITY

11. LEONARDO DA VINCI’S DISCOVERY – EVERYTHING IS WITHIN US

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

Welcome to the SOLUTIONS CREATOR – a book that is different from development journals and motivational journals, a slew of which appears especially days before New Year’s Eve.

My book is not about handing out recommendations, listing down personal goals and taking notes on how close you are to achieving them. It is about presenting you with a set of tools for generating those goals, and about describing how to get the expected results.

My name is Remigiusz Nestor Kalwarski, and since 2004, I have been consciously enhancing my efficiency in every sphere of life. Such a process is called personal development. It has become a passion of mine which I have finally decided to share, and therefore – apart from conducting workshops on sales and communication – I teach how to harness emotions and successfully exchange messages with one’s subconscious. I show how to find the balance between all spheres of life. I have been working in sales for more than twenty years.

I am still getting better and receive promotions.

I am a certified NLP Master Coach, an advocate for finding balance, and a business trainer registered in Polskie Towarzystwo Trenerów Biznesu (Polish Association of Business Trainers). I have also been a mental coach for Towarzystwo Żużlowe Ostrowia (Ostrowia Speedway Association), with which I got to the first league at that time.

And this is only a portion of my resume.

But this book is neither about me, nor my life. Maybe one day we will stumble upon each other, and I will have the honor of meeting you in person. I go to different places, so such an opportunity is not out of the question. Then, it is possible you will get to know me and my story.
Of course, only if you have such a wish.

Let the words from one of the songs written by a Polish rock band, Elektryczne Gitary, serve as a brief description of my life’s story: “(…) I have been in the army, the hospital, the joint, and sitting on a pile of cash (…).” However, I should stop at that ;)

Thank you for the trust you have given me by purchasing this book.

I would like to inform that 10% of the profit from selling this book will go to Szlachetna Paczka (Noble Gift), a Polish charity I have been an active member of for quite some time.

And now, let’s cut to the chase because you have just been given an

on-hand set of tools.

It is a handbook which will aid you in making choices as it contains a set of tools for analyzing various situations. Following this handbook will guarantee not only having a full B&T (belly and tank of fuel), but also support in improving your efficiency in everyday actions, as well as in realizing bigger plans and dreams. I refer to this book as a handbook because it is full of easily accessible knowledge. Furthermore, it has space for jotting down personal thoughts and conclusions.

Time and again, we irreversibly lose what we have not noted down. This is how the brain works. It enables a free flow of thoughts, and if they are not written down, they vanish inside an abyss. That is why it is important to put them on paper! You will not only protect them from becoming oblivious, but also up your efficiency by 50%. Do not hesitate to use the scrapbook at the end of the handbook, then.

Making notes raises the chances of achieving goals by up to 70%. Write, note, draw. Create thought maps. Jot down streams of thoughts. All of this will help you tap into your potential which has been held down by bottled-up emotions so far.

Devise a strategy and tactics you will use in your life and at work.

This handbook will make it easy for you to find your own strategy for realizing a given goal. Then, you will be able to think up tactics thanks to which you will feel satisfied in your personal and professional lives.

However, what direction should one go in? Without going too much into detail: towards the goal. This is the place where you have all the tools for defining the goal and drawing up a plan of how you are going to pursue it, as well as become successful in achieving it.

These tools are categorized from general to specific. I have created this set on my own when I was looking for a way of dealing with certain challenges which would enhance my efficiency and let me act with more ease. And with all those years of experience under my belt, I still have not found a universal modus operandi. Because there is not one. Nevertheless, using this set of tools, you can analyze any issue that is of interest to you.

And by choosing tools that are proper for the type and stage of the challenge at hand, you save time. Moreover, you will suffer less disappointments and make money faster.

The Solutions Creator should be picked up by anyone who wants to act faster, more and with better end results. Thanks to it, you will learn how to be more efficient, and how to act with more ease. This will improve your decision-making in such areas as:

education,

choosing a career path,

work-related situations,

business-related situations,

relationships,

choosing priorities and taking action towards their realization.

Each tool is worthy in and of itself, but combining and using a couple of them at the same time raises the efficiency dramatically. It all has to do with the effect that synergy offers, and thanks to which, two plus two equals five, six or sometimes even more, rather than four. Once you have taken advantage of the Solutions Creator two or three times, your intuition will guide you in solving another dilemma. You will also begin to use all of the methods described in the handbook without a moment’s hesitation. Then, your next problem will be solved quicker, and thus, you will arrive at your goal burning through less energy and generating less cost. What is more, you will be able to analyze any sphere of life that you find interesting to its most basic aspect, helping yourself reach the very “source”. The Creator will give you a hand in choosing a solution that is perfect for a given occasion.

I am aware that no person can advise another, or tell him how to act. Each and every one of us is unique, and therefore, this process will require you being fully invested in it by not being afraid of hard work and sincerity towards yourself.

But the good news is that you can lie to everyone else, but not to yourself.

INTRODUCTION

The first mistake people make has to do with the fact they do not know what they want to achieve. [Wyler]

How can you successfully form a reality which is to keep you satisfied if it has not been fully defined?

That is why, the very first step you have to take is to specify where you want to find yourself, as well as how and why you wish to reach a certain destination.

Let me get straight to the point:

Firstly, define your goal. Secondly, collect all the resources necessary to achieve it: knowledge, money, materials and methods. Thirdly, use these resources to arrive at the goal. [Aristotle]

Perhaps the “Leave your comfort zone” slogan has just popped into your head, but I will stop you in your tracks.

Stay here and follow the instructions given in the substantive section of this handbook. If you leave your comfort zone behind, you very often come back to it, but what it may have been turned into by then is a barren wasteland. It so happens when someone puts all his eggs into one basket or focuses on acting alone, without minding the consequences. Of course, if any wound gets infected and begins to fester, amputation is the most effective solution to the problem. However, as long as an ailing body part can be treated, it is not hacked off, unless you are desperate, but if this was the case, your emotions should be dealt with first.
Nonetheless, emotions will become the topic of my next book. You need to remember that your comfort zone serves a supporting role, so you ought to treat it with respect. Widen your comfort zone.

If you are going through hell, do not stop, keep moving. Everything will find its end eventually. [Winston Churchill]

In other words, if you are moving, you are on the road, you do not settle in the area the road goes through.

According to an old proverb, “it will not always be this way”. Changes are part of our lives, and that is why:

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. [Benjamin Franklin]

“To stand still is to move backwards” is a saying which was coined many years ago, but it stays true in these hectic times, as well.
Even though knowledge and the ability to use it with success have been the basic tools for ages, significant changes have been made to the speed with which information flows, and that is what we are trying to be on level ground with. Matters which have kept an average person from the Middle Ages occupied for an entire year, today, we come to grips with in about a week. But the effectiveness we travel through life with can be improved even further.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. [Confucius]

The first step towards becoming a happy human being.

The journey towards happiness is never-ending, but one decides to take it because the very fact of moving in the direction of happiness changes his disposition in a positive manner. For a journey that long,
you need to take lots of food weighing almost as much as an elephant. But how can you eat an elephant? Piece by piece!

If you divide the journey into stages, it automatically becomes less tiring. Of course, in order to go over a crevice, you need to take a leap and not two small steps, but if you do not wish to fall down, you need to prepare yourself first. Do not let it fool you and put your guard down. Often, people who immediately want to reach high summits trip over mole holes. It is better if you are aware of that and prepared for it, even though sometimes it is mandatory to be a bit mad.

The ones who are mad enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. [Steve Jobs]

You may know a story about a builder running around the site with an empty wheelbarrow. Do not join the stampede.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. [Steve Jobs]

The gift of having the ability to look at the world from above is something only visionaries can boast. Each of us will be given an award which is appropriate to the category and league we compete in – it can be the Nobel Prize, the Oscar, or love and the feeling of security and fulfillment.

How can you stay sane? How to become a visionary, and not a madman? What is the difference?

A visionary flies into the clouds, from where he searches for inspiration and a broader perspective. When he reaches such heights, he sees more and does not pay so much attention to small things.

A visionary comes back down and uses whatever he has seen up there in practice. A  madman either keeps flying among the clouds, or crashes upon landing. [Dawid Wojcieszak]

How can you find time for all this?

You keep bickering about not having time, but it is not true. You have time for everything, but you lack the ability to organize it. [Krzysztof Przybylski]

Are you attempting High-Return Activities or High-Value Activities? Or, perhaps, you are focusing on those which bring you the most instant pleasure?

The time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved. [prof. C. Northcote Parkinson]

Therefore, set your course on the basis of the light of the lighthouse, and not of that belonging to ships you pass.

Where to find such a light? Read the following chapters.

You will find out it is inside you.

1.

THREE ELEMENTS: THE “CUD” OF MAN
– THE ISSUE OF NOT BEING FULLY DEFINED

When you see an iceberg at sea, you see only its part that is above water.

Do you look at a challenge that is before you the same way?

If yes, you will be in for lots of surprises once you pick it up.

In principle, in order for any system to operate flawlessly, it must be complete. A human being who can be called a miracle of engineering is – simply put – a system comprised of a body, a mind and a soul.
The body is something we see from the very beginning. What is being created inside its mind is revealed to us at a later stage. The mind, meaning the brain, is inseparable from the body. The brain is the area where the processes concerning creation, evaluation and analysis of values, which are thought to be bonded with higher spiritual states, take place. Paradoxically, the values we respect manifest themselves when we come in contact with other people. It also affects the way we care for our bodily layer. Thus, when you take a look at somebody, what you really see is something more than only what the person is wearing.

However, you need to understand it fully first. If you want to get to know somebody, give him a chance before you decide to shut him off due to his “bad-looking” tattoo, or the length of his pants.

We all are a CUD (a miracle). We all have Ciało (a body), Umysł (a mind) and Dusza (a soul). If these three elements operate in tandem, we are happy, in balance and effective.

When one of them is on the fritz, other areas do not fire on all cylinders, as well. For example, psychosomatic diseases are those in which body functions may be impaired because of the ailing spirit.
For the sake of the argument, let’s imagine you have been in an accident which leaves you bedridden, and you do not have any idea if you will be capable of recovering fully. What happens inside your soul, then?

Your system of values has not been shaken? Even a tiny bit? Or maybe it is being verified? Let’s assume you have made a complete recovery, and you get back to being your past self. Is the system of values the same as it was before the accident happened?

The sum of everyday occurrences shows us that some of our beliefs are true, but others should be revised.

All of this manifests itself in how we go about our lives – what decisions we make, and what we resign from. A happy person is one who cares for each element of CUD proportionately. However, if there appears the issue of one of them not being fully defined, and if you feel something is not right, can you, at that time, make a decision which will keep you satisfied in the long run? Does it not lead to a hectic lifestyle and weighing heavy on a given element of CUD?

Ciało (the body): What should it look like?
How healthy has it been?
Why?

Umysł (the mind): What do I want to learn?
What can I learn?
Why?

Duch (the soul): In what way do my beliefs push me to take certain steps?
Which ones am I able to analyze?
Why?

2.

WHERE FROM – WHERE TO?
IDENTIFICATION/STRATEGY

If someone does not know which dock he wishes to sail to, no wind is his friend. [Seneca]

How to choose a direction or correct it?

Do you notice sometimes that certain harmful phenomena get repeated in our life regularly?

How to pinpoint the reasons for recurring failures?

Or how to specify a strategic goal?

Verify it with the help of three questions. This method is rooted in basic philosophical questions:

where do we come from?

where do we travel to?

who are we?

The answers will let you confirm if your intention has been fully defined, and if the goal has been precise and thought through enough that no small obstacle will be able to stop you from accomplishing it. Because if the definition of the goal is complete, what is bestowed upon you is the possibility to recognize how valuable it is to you.

Summing up, if what you are trying to achieve stays in harmony with your vision of yourself, you will not veer off course. The fact that you may learn something new on your way to the destination, or work through some of your issues, is an acceptable cost.

But what if your vision is not fully defined? Many people throw in the towel and do not try to accomplish the goals they set for themselves once they realize what the cost of doing the opposite is. You will eventually find out if you grasp the meaning of all the aspects of the chosen path.

For example, let’s assume that a young man defines what kind of a professional life he wants to lead.

A prestigious profession comes to his mind, from which he knows how to profit, but he does not take a minute to think what the daily routine of such a person is. Suddenly, due to him omitting such an analysis, it turns out this is not the career he wishes to pursue.

If, no matter what you are doing, you have difficulty with starting off, think if you have properly and precisely answered the question about who you want to be. If you have trouble taking action, maybe you do not fully know what you want to have?

If you have a problem with completing all the actions you have taken, you may have not specified what you wish to be doing.

Ask yourself the following questions:

What do you want to accomplish?

What would you like to have?

How will you know you have accomplished your goal?

What will you see, hear and feel one you accomplish it?

Is the goal dependent on you?

How will the world change once you accomplish your goal?

How will accomplishing the goal influence your close ones and acquaintances?

If there were no bounds, what would you like to have?

Well, if – after making several attempts – you still cannot find satisfying answers to the three basic philosophical questions, what should you do? Ask yourself the complete opposite: what is it that you do not want? However, the conclusions you will draw cannot be called answers because a goal born out of negativity will drag you away from the place you wish to get to. It is only a way to get the lay of the land, but once you do, describe the goal in a positive manner. “I do not want to get sick” is a statement that gives out a negative vibe, but the one saying “I want to be healthy” does not. Both of them mean exactly the same, but the way in which they convey the message is completely different.

Now, I would like you to take part in a developmental experiment. Please, accept a challenge of not using the word “NO” in conversations for an entire day. Of course, I do not suggest you should become a yes-man, but if you have to disagree with someone, do everything in your power to do it without saying “NO” ;)

Chapter 2 Supplement

Could the following situation really take place? A conversation based on negation:

‘You don’t want to go to the movies with me?’

‘No, I don’t. Wouldn’t you like to spend some time with me outside? Why don’t we go for a walk?’

‘It’s not that I don’t want to go, I just don’t feel like having a stroll. Don’t you want to watch a movie the premiere of which I have been waiting for with me?’

‘You don’t want to spend some time with me? I’m not as important to you as some movie?’

‘No, you’re very important to me. But it doesn’t seem like I’m to you since you don’t want to go to the movies with me.’

‘You’re not unimportant to me; have fun at the movies, and I’ll catch up with my reading.’

‘I’m not going to go, it wouldn’t feel right.’

This is how the conversation would look like if only one person used negations:

‘You don’t want to go to the movies with me?’

‘I’d rather stay outside, we could go for a walk maybe?’

‘I don’t feel like having a stroll. Don’t you want to watch a movie the premiere of which I have been waiting for with me?’

‘I can watch the movie on my own, what I care about is spending some time with you and having a conversation. If the movie is important to you, watch it alone. You’ll tell me about it later.’

‘No, it won’t feel right that I’m going to the movies and you’re not.’

‘I’ll be glad that you’re having fun, and in the meantime, I’ll prepare something nice for your return.’

‘If this is the case, I won’t feel bad about going.’

3.

THE ANALYSIS OF YOUR GOALS

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4.

SPECIFYING THE STEPS
– THE GROW TACTICS

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5.

TAKING STOCK OF THE RESOURCES
– THE SWOT ANALYSIS

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6.

QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS
– CARTESIAN QUESTIONS

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7.

TIME IS A TOOL

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8.

THE SIEVES OF SOCRATES
– TIME FOR IMPORTANT MATTERS ONLY

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9.

THE CONSEQUENCES OF CONSISTENCY

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10.

EFFECTIVENESS IN ACTION
– INTERNAL INTEGRITY

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11.

LEONARDO DA VINCI’S DISCOVERY
– EVERYTHING IS WITHIN US

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Now it is time to specify, set yourself and write down the tasks which are to be completed.

It order to make it easier for you, define all that is to be done:

IMMEDIATELY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

REGULARLY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

AT A CERTAIN STAGE UPON COMPLETION OF

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I have been traveling through life since 1975, and I like the journey more and more. No matter how much I am going to write about myself, it is likely something is going to slip my mind. I have asked my friends to describe me with either one word or a single sentence. The following contains what some of them have said.

Remigiusz shows that if an idea is sown properly and takes root, it can lead to above-average end results

Jan Paweł Tomaszewski
– motivational speaker, corporate psychologist and sportsman

He is able to build his life (one frame after another – similarly to a movie) upon dreams.

Wiesław Kaczmarek
– journalist, actor

Hard as a rock, organized as LEGOs, refined as oil, sensitive as a child and caring as a mother.

Arkadiusz Kurowski
– businessman, CEO of TechMedia

He moves forward no matter the obstacles.

Monika Janicka
– communication skills coach,
owner of KEKS POLSKA, speaker

To me, Remigiusz is a beautiful example of how you can become a powerhouse and, at the same time, be able to share your personal value with others on an enormous scale thanks to self-awareness, consistent self-development and good intentions. I am impressed by the journey this man has completed, and by the progress he has made in the course of it.

Marcin Juchniewicz
– psychologist, coach, traveler

Idestructible.

Barbara Gruszka
– mental coach, writer, entrepreneur

Remigiusz is a person who has undergone many changes during his life. Now, due to his rich experience, he is capable of helping others become better. I highly recommend my esteemed partner in crime.

Krzysztof Fabiański
– coach, mentor